Lost and Found
by WhoMe-2
Summary: Follows on after "Forever's Beginning." A year after their marriage, an incident causes the Doctor and Rose to lose their memories of the past three years. The Doctor faces his greatest challenge as he is suddenly forced to re-confront his past repressed feelings for Rose, who apparently is now his wife. **3rd in As It Should Be series**
1. Chapter 1

**A/N **Follows on after "Forever's Beginning." A year after their marriage, an incident causes the Doctor and Rose to lose their memories of the past three years. The Doctor faces his greatest challenge as he is suddenly forced to re-confront his past repressed feelings for Rose, who apparently is now his wife.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Doctor Who. All rights belong to the BBC.

* * *

As Rose stood beside the Doctor, their hands held up in surrender and surrounded by hostile aliens, she thought back to how perfectly this day had begun. _Those_ were the dangerous days, she concluded. When it came to life with the Doctor, if things seemed to be going all too well, that's just when disaster seemed to strike. Rose cast her mind back to how they had landed in this predicament...

It had started out as a perfect morning. She had woken from a blissful sleep and was greeted by the sight she adored most in the universe: her Doctor. A lazy smile had stretched across her face as she looked up into the affectionate, brown eyes shining back at her. His hair was adorably mussed from sleep and…other activities. She'd reached up to run her fingers through his soft, brown locks as he lowered his head and leaned in to give her a slow, leisurely kiss.

They had eventually made it out of bed and gotten dressed. It wasn't long before the Doctor had somehow managed to reverse it all, and they ended up back in bed once again. That seemed to have become one of his many talents.

Rose still found it hard to believe they had actually reached this point together. Especially considering their past history. They had always held their feelings back from each other when they had been traveling together before being separated. Almost as if there had been an invisible line in their relationship they dared not cross. But the fear of crossing that line shattered the moment they laid eyes on each other again, standing on opposite ends of that abandoned street.

Their new shared life had been very close to perfection since being reunited once again. Two years of separation and the fear that they would never be able to see each other again had made the Doctor realize and admit to himself the depth and intensity of his love for Rose. And once they were finally back together, he had determined to have no more regrets when it came to making his feelings known to her. Even before he found out about the changes Bad Wolf had made in Rose, changes that would allow them to have a forever that matched, he was still willing to give her his hearts and spend however long a lifetime they could have together.

So after choosing to return with her to the parallel universe, they were soon married. Following their Earth ceremony, they were bonded to each other in the sacred Gallifreyan way, joining their minds together and becoming one on every level. They then set out to travel the parallel universe together in the new TARDIS they had grown, all just over a year ago.

They still, of course, managed to get into a bit of trouble now and then just as they always had (much like today), but nothing they couldn't handle. It was just part of the adventure.

They thought their life couldn't be more perfect. It was the Doctor in the TARDIS with Rose Tyler, just as it should be. And then something happened that would change them both forever, and they realized their life was only going to get better.

Not quite three months before, and just two months shy of their first anniversary, Rose became pregnant. They had initially planned to wait at least a few years before starting a family. And the Doctor with his superior Time Lord biology was supposedly keeping things regulated so it wouldn't happen until they both decided they were ready. But unexpected surprises were a part of life. Even though it hadn't been planned, they were both overjoyed with the prospect of this new little life they had created and the significance it held. In a way, it was a rebirth of the Time Lords. The Doctor would no longer be the last of his kind.

They had both actually known the moment the baby was conceived, as the little tendril of awareness connected with them through the bond the Doctor and Rose shared. And the two became three.

They were expecting a little girl. Rose knew that right from the start. The Doctor explained to her that although most Gallifreyan children were loomed, the ones who on rare occasion were conceived in the traditional way had a very strong connection with their mothers. The Doctor was connected to the baby as well, but not quite to the extent that Rose was while she carried the child.

The pregnancy seemed to be progressing for the most part as a normal human pregnancy, with the exception, of course, of the baby's inherited, slightly telepathic abilities. And the pregnancy was a bit more draining for Rose than a human one would have been. She tired rather easily, and her nutrient levels required careful monitoring to ensure they stayed within normal parameters. She was also experiencing the joys of morning sickness, but apparently that was to be expected whether she was carrying a human _or_ Time Lord baby. Though why they called it 'morning' sickness she didn't know, because it seemed to strike at any given time throughout the day.

But the Doctor was certainly an attentive husband, to say the least. He monitored Rose carefully and checked her over in the infirmary once a day. It would have been more often, but Rose drew the limit. He had to settle for secretly scanning her with the sonic screwdriver every chance he got. Many times Rose would wake in the middle of the night to the familiar buzzing sound of the sonic passing over her.

She found it hard to be annoyed with him, though. He only wanted the best for her, and was so sensitive to her every need. She knew a part of him was frightened for the safety of her and the baby, and he didn't want to take a chance on anything going wrong. He was _not_ about to lose another family. Never again.

Jackie and Pete were of course thrilled to learn they were going to be grandparents. They were not so thrilled, however, to learn that the Doctor and Rose planned to keep traveling just as they always had through the pregnancy, and continuing on after the baby was born. Jackie especially thought it was much too dangerous. And the Doctor himself had been willing to put their life of travel on hold if that was what Rose wanted until after the baby was born and had gotten a bit older — at least old enough to run, which seemed to be a requirement for the life they led. But it was Rose who wanted to continue on as they had been. They wouldn't take any unnecessary risks, of course, and they would stick to the more harmless planets for the time being. But Rose reasoned that the baby was part Time Lord and needed to learn about this life she was inheriting right from the start. And Rose could sense the baby's connection to the TARDIS even at this early stage. This was where their child belonged.

And so, this very morning found them aboard the TARDIS, after finally getting out of bed and getting dressed (again), ready to plan their next destination. The Doctor began enthusiastically telling Rose about the magnificent planet of Kalston.

"They have the most wonderful variety of bananas in the universe, Rose!" he told her excitedly. "They grow already perfectly ripe and stay that way until they're eaten. No chance of getting a green one or one that's all brown and splotchy. Oh no! These are the very epitome of perfection!" he beamed, happily rocking back and forth on his heels in that exuberant way of his.

Rose smirked. "I'm the one who's pregnant, remember?" she pointed out. "So why is it that _you're_ the one with the cravings?"

The Doctor's expression turned to a distinct pout. "I _always_ have a craving for bananas, Rose. And besides, it would be perfect for the baby. I'm sure she'd love it! Bananas are good — all that potassium. Just the thing for you and the baby. Really, Rose, I'm only thinking of the two of you."

Rose chuckled. "And I'm sure the thought of having one yourself never even crossed your mind," she teased. "Fine, planet Kalston it is."

He grinned. "Brilliant!"

Once they had reached the planet, however, they found that the parallel version apparently didn't take kindly to outside visitors. Travel in the parallel universe, they had found, could be a bit dodgy at times. Most of the time it was just subtle differences, but occasionally those unknown differences could get them into trouble.

Like today.

After being arrested and tried for trespassing, the Doctor and Rose were escorted by armed guard back to where they had first landed in the TARDIS, and were then ordered to come to a halt. A large device resembling a sort of high-tech cannon was brought out and prepared to apparently be used against them, if the aim in their direction was anything to go by.

The Doctor, as always, had tried talking his way out of the situation, but to no avail.

"You will be banished from our planet, never again to return," the leader of the Kalstonians declared.

"Weeell, it won't be a first," the Doctor replied casually. "I suppose Rose and I will just have to stick to Earth for our supply of bananas from now on. Shame that, too. I was rather looking forward to stocking up on your superior specimens. But I don't fancy going through all of this pomp and circumstance — tasty as your fruit may be. So if it's alright with you lot, Rose and I will just get back in our ship and be off."

The Doctor tentatively lowered his hands and turned to move, when the weapons were cocked and pointed more threateningly at him.

"Stop!" he was ordered. "You will not leave until granted permission. We are preparing our gravimetric energy beam to propel you back into space. Once ready, you and the female will get in your ship and be sent three years distance from our planet. It will also be combined with a precise, neuro-targeted gamma ray devised to remove your memories of having found this place so you will not be able to return."

The Doctor suddenly became extremely concerned, look of fear crossing his face. "You can't do that!" he objected. "Do you realize what that will do? If those combined energy waves set to the same calibration propel us three years distance while affecting our memories in the process, it will also take the last _three_ years of our memories!"

"That is correct."

"Just let us leave…please! I swear we will NEVER return to your planet. There's no need to do this! My wife is expecting a child and you don't know what kind of effect that could have on her!"

"You should have considered the consequences of your actions before trespassing on our planet. Be grateful your sentence was not execution. There will be no further discussion."

Through their connection, Rose could feel the fear rising in the doctor, and her own fright was growing. It was times like this that having the ability to communicate with each other telepathically definitely had its advantages.

Rose reached out for his mind through their link. _"Doctor, what are we gonna do?"_ she asked, becoming more and more frightened. _"If they take the last three years of our memories, we won't even remember that we're married! Three years ago we hadn't even been separated yet. And we weren't anywhere near being ready to share our feelings for each other like this. If we go back to that time now, what will happen to us? What about our baby?"_

"_Calm down, Rose,"_ he inwardly soothed. _"I'm going to get us out of here. They're still waiting for their device to power up, so we still have time. Look, they're becoming distracted setting the calibrations. So when I tell you to run, you make a dash for the TARDIS. It's just a few feet behind us and we should be able to make it. I'll be right behind you."_

He sent her a feeling of reassurance through their link as they waited for an opportunity to make their escape. Once he saw the best chance they were going to get, he gave Rose the command.

"_Run!"_

She quickly turned and ran as fast as she could, the Doctor right behind her to shield her in case they did not make it in time and were fired upon. The weapons began firing at them just as they both crashed through the doors of the TARDIS, narrowly escaping the laser blasts as the doors slammed shut.

The Doctor dashed to the console to get them into the Vortex as quickly as possible before the energy weapon was fully powered and used against them.

"Even if they fire at us with that thing, shouldn't the TARDIS' shields protect us?" Rose asked, desperately hoping this situation wasn't as bad as it seemed.

"Our TARDIS is still very young. Her shields aren't as powerful as a fully-developed TARDIS' would be. At best, the shields might protect us enough to lessen the extent of the impact. And maybe — _hopefully_ the effect on our memories wouldn't be permanent."

As the Doctor worked the controls trying to get the TARDIS in flight, he hastily began preparing Rose for what might happen.

"Rose, listen to me," he began, his eyes imploring, "If we're not able to make it out of this…if they're successful in using their weapon against us, I need you to know this, Rose: I love you. Whatever happens, I _love_ you. Even if I couldn't remember these past three years, that won't change how I feel. I may not have had the courage to open up to you about my feelings in the past, but that doesn't mean those feelings weren't there," he said earnestly, as he looked at her in desperation, hoping against hope it wouldn't come to that.

Tears were building in Rose's eyes as she quickly responded. "And I love you! I always have and I always will. Nothing could change that."

The TARDIS was set in flight, and for a brief moment they thought they might have escaped. But then a sudden a blast of energy hit them and sent the TARDIS spiraling out of control as they were both thrown to the grating.

As the sparks shooting from the console died out and the smoke began to clear, the Doctor pulled himself up and quickly checked on Rose.

"Are you okay?" he asked, still a bit dazed from the impact of being hurled to the floor.

Rose sat up and rubbed her right shoulder that had taken the brunt of the impact. "Yeah, I think so," she replied, feeling a bit stunned. "What about you?"

The Doctor rotated his neck side-to-side to work out the stiffness and took quick inventory. "Arms, legs, neck, head, nose. I'm fine," he assessed.

He then went to the console to try and work out what had just occurred. Rose came over beside him, peering at the blank monitor.

"What just happened?" she asked him.

"I don't know. Some sort of energy surge, I'd say. Whatever it was, it knocked us out of the Vortex. We seem to be adrift."

Rose looked at him and raised a brow. "What were you doin' when it happened?" she queried.

"It wasn't _my_ fault," he said in defense. "I had just entered coordinates and everything was fine."

"Maybe the TARDIS didn't like your choice of destination," Rose teased.

The Doctor looked up and quirked his lips in a half smile. "Oh, it was one of her favorite destinations, actually. The glorious Planet Earth. I was going to surprise you, but…I thought I would take you to the 2012 London Olympics," he announced happily.

Rose's face broke into a wide grin. "Oh, that's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that? So, is the TARDIS alright now?"

The Doctor shook his head. "Half her systems are still off-line, and I can't determine whatever it was that caused this because the ship's logs seemed to have been wiped clean. It's going to take me a little while to get her up and running properly again."

Rose, however, had lost focus on what he was saying because something else now had her attention. She looked down in bewilderment at the diamond ring she just realized was on her left finger. She slid it off and saw what looked to be swirling Gallifreyan script engraved on the inside of the band.

"Doctor?" she questioned in a puzzled tone as she held up the ring. "Where did _this_ come from?"


	2. Chapter 2

The Doctor's breath caught in his throat the moment his eyes fell upon the ring. He instantly recognized the diamond, and it wasn't an ordinary one. It was a White Point Star found only on Gallifrey. To his knowledge, he had the only one left in existence. And the last time he looked, it most certainly was _not_ set within a ring. A ring worn by Rose.

"Where did you get that?" he asked, his tone dark, almost accusatory.

"It was just…there," Rose replied, still puzzled.

"Let me see it," he commanded.

Rose was startled by his strong reaction and quickly pulled it off, placing it in his outstretched palm. He took the ring between his fingers and peered at it with scrutiny. His eyes immediately fell upon the engraving inside the band.

His name.

His _true_ name inscribed in Gallifreyan. With the Time Lords gone, he was the only one left in existence who even knew of this language. So how was this possible?

His hearts were racing in his chest and he had to force himself to calm down before speaking again. "Rose, where did you get this?" he asked once more, the forced calmness in his voice hiding the fact that his emotions were barely restrained. His mind traveled in a thousand directions at once trying to make sense of this.

"I didn't _get_ it anywhere. I told you, it was just…there," she answered, feeling slightly uncomfortable by the sudden change in his demeanor. She then noticed the ring on his own finger. "And it looks like I'm not the only one," she said, gesturing to his ring.

The Doctor's eyes followed her line of sight to his left hand. He gazed in bewilderment at the unexplained ring which was indeed there. How had he not even noticed this? But to be fair, he _had_ been a little preoccupied in the last two minutes. He removed the silver band to inspect it and was once again shocked by what he saw. This, too, was engraved in Gallifreyan, only this time it was Rose's name on the inside.

"This doesn't make any sense," Rose began. "How and…and why would these just suddenly appear? Are they dangerous? Like…like disguised tracking devices or…I dunno. And who would do this?"

The Doctor looked up at her, his expression dark. "I don't know, but I intend to find out," he vowed as he thrust both rings into his pocket.

Rose certainly thought their sudden appearance was bewildering, but what had her almost more confused was the Doctor's reaction to them. She wasn't used to seeing him quite this unnerved.

There was something else Rose was beginning to notice. She had a strange feeling in her head. Not bad, exactly. In fact, something about it just felt…right. Almost like a familiar presence.

The Doctor had noticed this within his own mind, too. And he knew _exactly_ what it felt like. He also knew exactly where and _who_ it was coming from. But that was impossible. Absolutely impossible. He hadn't felt a presence like this since before the Time Lords were destroyed. But this was more than that. It went beyond even the connection he once had with the Time Lords. This felt like a bond — a bond with Rose. But he was the only one who could create something like that. And he wouldn't — _couldn't_. Not ever. He was a Time Lord and she was human. She would eventually wither and die while he would be left to pick up the pieces of himself. And oh yes, his mind had gone there countless times when his control had nearly slipped. But this harsh reality had kept him in check.

He could not permit himself to even think about that kind of a relationship with her. And he had noticed lately that the longer he had been with Rose, the more he had to fight to keep those kinds of thoughts out of his mind. No, this was dangerous territory and an area he stayed _far_ away from. They were friends — only friends. Nothing more. That had become his mantra. He couldn't allow himself to get too close. He had boundaries in place that would _not_ be crossed.

His tempestuous eyes met hers, which were wide and questioning as she stepped a little closer toward him.

He quickly threw up barriers in his mind to block whatever this connection was. Rose took a step back as the sudden, unexpected feeling hit her, almost like a door slamming in her face.

The Doctor turned and pretended to busy himself at the console and hoped Rose hadn't been able to feel the connection in the same way he had. If she did, how could he explain it to her when he didn't understand how this could have even happened in the first place?

Meanwhile, Rose was growing increasingly confused. She must have hit her head when she was thrown to the floor, she concluded. Maybe that would explain this altogether strange feeling. Even though the presence she was feeling in her mind had just come to a sudden halt, she was still slightly aware of a smaller, fainter presence just under the surface of her own thoughts.

"Doctor?" she asked tentatively, raising a hand to her temple. "My head feels…I don't know…just sort of…strange."

His head snapped up and he gave her an intense stare, then spoke quietly. "I don't know what's happening here, Rose. But I promise I will get to the bottom of whatever this is."

"Do you think it has something to do with whatever just happened to the TARDIS?" she asked.

"That seems to be the only connection. But none of this makes sense," he replied in frustration.

Rose wished she could do something to help ease his frustration over this situation – whatever it was. But she was suddenly feeling so utterly tired. Not just tired — exhausted. And she felt slightly dizzy on top of it all. Maybe if she were to lie down for a bit, she'd start feeling better. And she was starting to feel increasingly uncomfortable with the Doctor. The dark mood that seemed to come over him was making her feel unsettled. Especially the way he was looking at her, like there was more to this than he was letting on.

"I think I need a bit of a lie down," she finally told him. "That tumble we took has left me a little shaken and I feel knackered."

The Doctor just nodded and turned his attention back to the console, trying to get things back up and running so he could start piecing together what was going on.

Rose left the console room without another word, leaving him to his silent brooding. It wasn't long, however, when she was forced to return, her confusion building.

"Doctor?" she called over to him hesitantly. "Something's happened to the TARDIS."

He looked up at her and frowned. "What do you mean?"

"My room is gone. It just…isn't there. I have no idea what's going on, but there only seems to be one corridor with just a few rooms. And mine isn't one of them."

The Doctor quickly crossed the room and headed down the single corridor. The TARDIS was still bigger on the inside, but vastly smaller than it had been. There was the kitchen, infirmary, library — but the maze of winding corridors leading to other rooms — some of which he hadn't even been in for centuries because they were so numerous — all seemed to have vanished.

Then he saw a door which brought him to a sudden halt. Once again, there were Gallifreyan words, this time carved on the door. It was both his name and Rose's entwined together. The very sight of it made his pulse quicken. He was glad Rose wasn't able to decipher what it said because he had absolutely no idea how he could even begin to explain this.

As Rose stood beside his frozen form at the door, she wanted to ask him what it said, but gauging his reaction, decided maybe it was best if she didn't. She hadn't gone in this room when she found it a minute ago. She knew this wasn't the location of her bedroom, and seeing the strange inscription on the door, she thought maybe it was some sort of warning from the TARDIS.

The Doctor slowly opened the door and stepped inside. Hesitantly, Rose followed behind him. They were both stunned by what they saw. It certainly wasn't what either had expected. It was an elegant bedroom that clearly seemed to be intended for two. The two of _them_, to be precise. Rose flushed at the sight of the large bed in the center of the room that commanded their attention, and she could feel the unease coming off the Doctor in waves. The headboard on the bed displayed the same inscription as the door, and there was a large wardrobe in the corner containing _both_ their clothes. A fireplace was at the far end of the room with a cozy loveseat built for two situated in front.

Awkward didn't even begin to describe the situation this bedroom put them in. Especially now that their respective rooms were apparently gone. It was almost as if they were being thrown together.

"What's happening here, Doctor?" Rose asked, bemused.

"I wish I knew," he replied in dismay. "But this is…wrong. Very wrong." He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and scanned the room. No sign of an alien presence or intruders. Nothing out of the ordinary.

The Doctor looked at Rose then, properly for the first time since she'd left the console room, and he noticed she was looking a little pale.

"Are you alright, Rose?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired. And all this sudden madness has got me more than a little confused."

"I need to get working on the TARDIS so I can try to figure this out. Why don't you lie down here for a little while, alright? I don't know what's going on just yet, but I scanned the room and I think you'll at least be safe in here for the time being. Just…just stay in here."

That last bit was almost spoken crossly. Rose simply nodded as he headed for the door. She wanted to ask more questions, but she supposed there was no point, considering he didn't have any more answers than she did at the moment. Rose looked around the room in continued confusion. Was this some sort of joke? A cosmic prank? It was almost like someone's elaborate idea of trying to get the two of them together. First the rings, and it had _not_ escaped her notice that they appeared to look very much like wedding rings, and now this intimate space with her and the Doctor's things side-by-side. Gazing at the surroundings, it wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination to call this a love nest.

The word itself didn't give her pause for thought. Rose had admitted to herself long ago that she was in love with the Doctor. But he never took things further with her, and she didn't know if he ever would. And judging from his reaction to all of this, he clearly wasn't thrilled about the idea. Well, if nothing else, maybe she finally had her answer in regards to his feelings about this sort of thing.

She sighed and looked over at the bed, which was impossible to ignore, really. Despite the strangeness of the situation, this bed did look very inviting and she was so tired. Rose walked over to it and ran her hand across the lush, burgundy duvet. She pulled it back and climbed in, and as she sank into the soft covers, she was instantly surrounded by the unmistakable essence of the Doctor which filled her senses. His scent that she had always thought of as a warm summer day and something else that was hard to put her finger on — as cliché as it sounded, almost like Time itself. She buried her face in the pillow and hugged it close. Despite his current mood, the thought of him being close was still a comfort.

As she tried to relax, Rose just couldn't seem get over the niggling feeling that there was something she was missing here. Something about all of this that she felt she should know but couldn't. Like trying to remember a fading dream after waking.

Despite the rush of her thoughts, she was finding that the small presence in her head that _should_ have felt unnerving was actually calming — almost as if it was meant to be a part of her. And soon she was drifting off to sleep.

-:-

The Doctor paced around the console room, trying to get control of his raging thoughts and make sense of this situation. Rings that should not exist but did, rooms that should but didn't, and the unmistakable feeling of a mental connection with Rose which had _not_ been there before. Was this some form of mind control? Maybe the Trickster? Some twisted way of trying to bring his hidden desires to life, thrown in his face in order to somehow be used against him? Perhaps none of this was even real. No, he realized, the connection he had felt with Rose was most definitely real and not something that could be simulated by an outside force. Then what in Rassilon's name was the explanation here?

The Doctor peered back over at the monitor which was finally coming back online. He was soon able to run a scan and confirm that the TARDIS had been hit by some sort of energy force, but was unable to trace the origin. And it would still be a while before the TARDIS would be fully up and running enough for travel. So even if he could trace it, they'd still be stuck here for the time being. Stuck with his thoughts and unanswered questions which were rapidly driving him mad.

-:-

Rose woke about an hour later and was feeling slightly better. She blinked up toward the ceiling and pondered her options. She decided she should go find the Doctor and see if he'd made any progress on figuring out their current situation. Pushing back the covers and climbing out of bed, she hoped he was at least in a less dour mood than last time.

The man in question was under the console still making repairs when she came in. He heard her approaching and pulled himself out and stood.

"So…feeling better?" he asked.

"A little, yeah. How 'bout you? I mean, any ideas about what's been happening here?"

He let out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm still working on it. But so far, not a clue."

Their conversation had no time to go further, because he quickly noticed Rose was looking pale once again, and seconds later was beginning to wobble. He strode forward and quickly reached out to steady her.

"Whoa! It's okay, I've got you. Rose? What's wrong?" he asked in growing concern.

Rose looked up at him with a disoriented expression. "I don't know. I just got…dizzy again for a minute."

This was soon followed by a sudden look of queasiness as she clutched a hand to her stomach, then quickly turned and hurried back down the corridor.

"Rose, what's wrong?" the Doctor called out as he followed after her. He went through the bedroom and into the bathroom where he found her over the sink being sick.

As Rose heaved the contents of her stomach, she was vaguely aware of a cool flannel being brought to her forehead. Once the wave of nausea had finally passed, she turned to see the Doctor there beside her, his face full of concern.

"I don't know what came over me," she said wearily. "It just hit me all of the sudden."

"Come on," he said, "let's get you back into bed."

She took a couple of steps then began to wobble. Rather than risk her falling, the Doctor quickly reached for her and lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bed where he placed her down.

The Doctor reached in his jacket to pull out his sonic screwdriver and began to scan her from head to foot. He might not have a clue what was going on with his ship or his sudden and unexplained connection to the woman now lying ill, but he was most _certainly_ going to find out what was happening to Rose, if he could do nothing else.

Rose lay still and allowed him to assess her condition, hoping for an answer herself. She just hoped whatever it was would pass soon. The last thing she needed was to be getting sick in the midst of all this. She watched as his look of concentration morphed into a look of utter shock, and then, something else entirely. His eyes fastened to hers, and she was suddenly almost afraid to even ask what he'd just discovered. The Doctor slowly lowered the sonic. His eyes remained fixed, boring intensely into hers, and what Rose saw frightened her as his expression became thunderous.


	3. Chapter 3

Everything else that had been happening suddenly took a back seat to this newest, substantial revelation. Feelings of immense shock and anger rose up in the Doctor. Rose was pregnant. His mind was reeling. He wondered how long she had known and been trying to hide this from him. He could feel the Oncoming Storm boiling up inside him as he thought about who the father might be.

"Doctor, what is it?" Rose asked in a worried voice. "Is it…bad?"

When the Doctor responded, his voice was dangerously low. "How long have you known?"

Rose eased herself up. She wrinkled her brow in confusion. "Known what? What do you mean?"

The Doctor abruptly stood and turned away from her, took a deep breath, then turned back to face her again. "About the _baby_, Rose. How long have you known about the baby?" he asked, his voice rising.

Her eyes went wide in utter shock. "_Baby_! What are you even talking about? What baby?!"

"_Your_ baby. The one you're carrying and have been for months!"

Rose's throat suddenly went dry, and she felt like she might pass out again. "Are you…," she stammered, "are you trying to tell me you think I'm _pregnant_?"

"I don't _think_ you are I _know_ you are. I just scanned you — you're nearly three months along."

"But that's not possible!" she protested. "How could that even be possible?"

"You're asking _me_?" he responded angrily. "I should think you'd be the one to know that quite well."

"But I haven't…there isn't…there's no way!" she objected.

The Doctor paced around the room, then stopped in front of the bed and scrubbed his hands over his face. "How long did you think you could keep this up? Did you think I wouldn't eventually find out, Rose? Did you think we could just keep on traveling like we always had and nothing would change? This changes _everything_, Rose. Everything."

Overwhelmed by the entire situation, Rose suddenly burst into tears and buried her face in her hands.

The Doctor let out a weary sigh. "I'm sorry. I suppose this must be…difficult for you now that he's gone."

Rose looked up at him through red-rimmed eyes. "What…," she hiccupped through her tears, "what are you t-talking about?"

"Mickey. Your baby's _father_," he answered coldly.

The Doctor knew he didn't have a right to be feeling this kind of jealousy. It wasn't like he had any kind of claim to Rose. But he was finding it impossible to fight it. And he wasn't a stranger to this emotion. He remembered the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach back when he was his ninth self and had watched on the TARDIS monitor as Rose and Mickey stood outside, flirting openly and deciding to go off to get a room together. He might have been able to fool Jack at the time by saying it was nothing, but he couldn't fool himself about his feelings, then _or_ now.

Rose quickly shook her head. "No! It wasn't like that! It was pretty much over between him and me as soon as I started traveling with you."

Rose moved off the bed and came to stand in front of him.

He just gave her a look that said he clearly didn't believe that, and continued on. "Look, it's none of my concern what you and Mickey decided to get up to together, but couldn't you at least have been a little more responsible?" Rose tried to object, but he continued over her, shaking his head in frustration. "So, I let him come along and _this_ is what happens," The Doctor said scornfully, ignoring Rose's protests. "Then Mickey-the-Idiot just leaves you behind with me to deal with his mess!" he erupted bitterly.

His tirade came to an abrupt halt as Rose's palm connected with his face in a loud whack.

"How dare you!" she said through clenched teeth.

The Doctor was momentarily stunned into silence. A Tyler slap always had a way of quickly getting his attention.

"You won't even listen to me!" she yelled. "I don't know how this happened, but this baby is not Mickey's! I didn't know I was pregnant because I shouldn't _be_ pregnant. It's not even possible. I haven't been with anyone!"

The Doctor slowly shook his head, trying to make sense of what she was saying. Her insistence was clearly genuine. "I…I'm sorry. I just…I don't know what to believe, Rose."

"How do you think I feel? I don't know what to believe either," she countered. "This shouldn't even be possible."

The Doctor began to pace once more as Rose sat back down on the bed.

"Could this be the doing of…I don't know…aliens, or something?" she asked, a slight tremble to her voice.

The Doctor turned to look at her and narrowed his gaze. "You really haven't been with anyone?"

"I told you. _No_," she re-stated firmly.

He expelled a long breath as he drug a hand through his hair. "Well, however it happened, this at least explains the other things that went on today."

"What do you mean?"

"The TARDIS. Those things were obviously her doing. Whatever hit us was apparently just a coincidence, but the rings, this room, making the ship smaller to force us into closer quarters — it was her own way of playing match-maker I suppose," he sarcastically surmised. "She must have known you were pregnant even if you weren't aware, and she was trying to set you up with a perfect little home here." He gestured to their surroundings. "With me."

Rose lowered her head and gazed down at the floor, her voice falling quiet. "Well, she obviously didn't know that's the last thing you would want."

He didn't respond to that. He didn't dare say what was really going through his mind at the thought of this kind of a life with Rose. He just regarded her for a long moment, then he held out his hand to her. "Come on," he urged, his tone gentler. "Let's get you to the infirmary so I can run a more thorough scan and see if we can figure out what's going on."

Rose nodded but didn't take his hand as she followed silently behind him to the infirmary.

Once there, he had her lie down so he could examine her. "I just need to….," he gestured awkwardly to her shirt.

"It's okay," she said a bit shyly. He gave a short nod and lifted the material of her deep pink jumper to reveal her stomach. The smooth, creamy skin was flat and defined, not yet revealing the significance it held within. He positioned a scanning device just over her belly, then moved to the nearby monitor to view the data. Rose waited in anxious silence as he viewed the readings. He removed his glasses from his inner pocket and slipped them on as he peered closely at the screen. As the Doctor viewed the results, his eyes grew wide in disbelief and his hearts began thudding rapidly against his ribcage.

"That's impossible," he whispered.

"What is it, Doctor? Is everything okay…with the baby?" Rose asked in concern, already feeling protective of the life that was now inside her.

He didn't answer immediately. Instead, he frantically began running additional scans, readjusting the parameters. Finally, he removed his glasses with a shaking hand and turned to face Rose.

"According to this," he said, still feeling numb, "the baby is…," he swallowed hard. "The baby's genetics are part Time Lord."

Rose just sat there for a moment in stunned silence, the blood pounding in her ears. Then she finally responded. "Is it yours?" she all but whispered.

He held her gaze for a moment, weighing his words, then answered. "The DNA shows evidence that would seem to suggest so, yes."

Rose's mouth fell open. "But _how_?" she asked in disbelief and utter confusion. "We haven't…I mean…we didn't…," she trailed off. He could certainly fill in that blank on his own.

He swallowed thickly. "I don't know, Rose. I honestly do not know."

"Could we have maybe…I don't know…done something unknowingly? Are there other ways for Time Lords to…to…" She couldn't quite finish the question. She knew what she was saying made no sense, but _nothing_ about this situation was making any sense. And she really didn't know all that much about the Doctor's species. Maybe they reproduced in a totally different way. Maybe she had held hands with him one time too many…

"No," the Doctor shook his head. "There's…only one way for this to happen. And like you said, we haven't." He took another deep breath. "And according to this," he gestured to the monitor, "there have been changes to you as well."

"What do you mean changes…that is, aside from the obvious?" she asked, beginning to feel even more worried.

"It looks as if your DNA has been altered. It's in many ways similar to a Time Lord's."

Rose let out a bewildered laugh as she took in this latest revelation. "I don't even know what to think anymore," she replied, shaking her head. "Is this what I've been sensing…in my head? Is that the baby?"

"If the baby is part Time Lord, then it would be slightly telepathic. You would be connected," he confirmed.

"But there was something else earlier," she told him, "in my head, something stronger. But then it was just suddenly…gone."

His expression darkened and he turned away, unable to look her in the eyes. Realization suddenly dawned on her.

"It was you, wasn't it?" she said softly, somehow instinctively knowing.

He turned back to her. "The baby must somehow be connecting us," he admitted. That was partly true, of course. But he didn't tell her what it really felt like — a bond. Nor did he reveal the significance of what that would mean. When Time Lords bonded, it was for life.

"But I had to put up barriers, Rose. I need to be able to think clearly so I can try to make sense of this situation."

Rose tried not to look hurt. She knew this must be hard for him. All of this had come as such a shock for both of them, but she couldn't help feeling like he was rejecting her.

They both sat there in silence, still reeling from the events of the past few hours — and more specifically, the past few minutes. Finally, Rose spoke.

"So, what do we do now?"

The Doctor let out a long sigh. "I need to find out how all this happened so I can put things right."

She looked him squarely in the eyes then. "I need you to know one thing, Doctor. Even if you found a way to reverse all this, I wouldn't want you to." He looked a little surprised by this as she continued. "I don't know how this happened and I don't know why this happened. But it happened. And I want you to know that I _will_ have this baby," she told him resolutely. Then she placed a hand on her stomach as her voice became quiet, almost awed. "It's a girl, isn't it? I can feel her."

The Doctor nodded. "Yes," he confirmed quietly.

He then crossed the room and began preparing a syringe, resorting back to the mode of physician. "Your electrolytes are a little out of balance. We need to take care of that. I can also give you something that should help a bit with the nausea."

He walked back over to her, gently pushed up her sleeve and gave her the injection, both of them avoiding eye contact. They'd been through their share of unexpected and shocking situations in their time together, but never anything like _this_. Neither really knew how to go about process it, and at the moment seemed to be having difficulty even looking at each other.

Rose pulled her sleeve back down and stood.

"I'm just…gonna try to get some rest," she told him.

He nodded, and she quickly made her way out of the infirmary, hoping her legs would still support her.

-:-

Rose headed for the only bedroom that seemed to be available at the moment, and closed the door behind her. Rose crawled into bed and tried to get a hold of her thoughts.

Ironically, she'd secretly had fantasies of having the Doctor's babies, (among other fantasies regarding him), but she never once imagined anything quite like this. She knew she was in love with him — had been since before he became the man he was now. She didn't even try to lie to herself about that. But he had never shown an interest in her in quite that way. Oh, they were good friends — the best of friends; but their relationship never went beyond sharing hugs and holding hands.

She had thought they were starting to get much closer, though. But then there was the conversation they had after meeting Sarah Jane when he bluntly stated that he would never be able to spend the rest of his life with her. After that, he seemed to be trying to put some distance between them. First by inviting Mickey along, and then there was Reinette. The thought of that incident still stung. But ever since their trip to Krop Tor, something seemed to change and she had sensed them becoming much closer. Or so she thought. She was even starting to let herself think that maybe, just maybe…one day. But now, well, obviously not. It was clear that the Doctor wanted nothing to do with this kind of relationship.

So now she was in the position of being madly in love with someone who clearly didn't return those feelings. And not only that, but now she was carrying his child. A child he obviously didn't want.

But still, he had reacted so strongly when he thought the baby was someone else's. Was that jealousy? Possessiveness? No, she told herself, he just didn't want a baby on the TARDIS and thought she had been trying to hide it from him. He didn't do domestic. He'd made that very clear.

Rose released a weary sigh and curled up on her side as she placed a hand over her stomach. Despite everything that was happening, underneath it all she had an unexplainable sense of calm. Almost as if something about this whole wrong situation was somehow…right.

-:-

The Doctor left the infirmary and headed back down the corridor. He paused briefly outside the door to the single bedroom. He wanted to go to Rose and at least apologize for his reaction earlier. But he decided they both probably needed some time alone right now to sort through their emotions. Or at least attempt to do so. Plus he knew Rose needed some rest. So he returned instead to the console room and sat down heavily on the jump seat as he tried to gain control over his tumultuous emotions.

He'd been fighting so hard to keep from crossing that line with Rose, but had been finding it more difficult with each passing day. He'd tried to tell himself that she was just another companion. But she was more than that — so much more. Had been from the very beginning. But he would eventually lose her. Humans wither and they die. If he were to let himself get too close, that would just make the pain of one day losing her that much harder to bear.

But now? If the scans he performed on Rose were correct, that certainly changed what he thought he'd known of her human lifespan. And now, inexplicably, she was apparently carrying…_his child_. Shocking his own self, he actually had to tamp down the thrill of joy that was trying to rise up in him at the very thought. But this was _not_ something he could allow himself to do. Not again. Not ever. He had a family once before and he lost them — lost them all. Never again.

Whatever was happening here, maybe it would end up reversing itself just as quickly as it started. He couldn't let himself get too attached to the idea of a family or a relationship with Rose. Just like everything else in his life, it would eventually slip through his fingers and turn to dust.

But still, he just couldn't get past the feeling that he was _missing_ something here. Something immense. Like there was something more to all this, but he just didn't know what.

Just then, a small tendril of awareness gently brushed his mind. He sucked in a breath and briefly closed his eyes – eyes which stung with unshed tears as emotions swelled inside him.

It was the baby. This incomprehensible being had reached forth with its mind and touched his own.

The Doctor snapped himself back to attention and quickly put his barriers more firmly in place as he swallowed past the lump in his throat. How could the universe be so cruel as to taunt him with the life he so desperately wanted, but one could never have?

-:-

The next morning could have found Rose in a state of emotional upheaval, but instead she was steady and calm. She knew what she needed to do next. Rose had reached a decision, and upon getting dressed she went straight away to find the Doctor.

She located him in the console room. He was sitting in a slumped position on the jump seat, and she briefly wondered if he'd been there all night. He had a weary, distant gaze and didn't immediately realize she had approached.

Rose cleared her throat and spoke up. "Doctor?"

He snapped his head around toward her and quickly stood. "Rose! Um…good morning. Are you feeling alright?"

She gave a half smile. "Oh, that is such a loaded question." She drew a deep breath proceeded. "Doctor, I want you to take me home."


	4. Chapter 4

Upon hearing Rose's request, the Doctor's face instantly fell. "Rose, I…"

"Not permanently," she quickly clarified. "Unless…unless that's what you want," she added quietly. "But I just need to see my mum. I need to talk to her. I'm feeling confused and hurt," _and you're the reason for the latter_, she thought to herself but didn't say. "And I just want to see her. I can't tell her about this — not yet." Rose paused for a moment and shook her head, then continued. "I can't even imagine what she'd say. Well, actually…yes I can. And she'll have to know eventually. But for now, I just want to be able to spend some time with her."

The Doctor nodded. "The TARDIS has recovered enough for travel, so I can take you there now if you want."

"You don't have to come with me," she stated softly.

"Do you want me to come?"

"Do _you_ want to come?"

The Doctor gazed down at the floor, then lifted his eyes back up to her. "I don't want to just leave you, Rose, if that's what you're asking."

Rose nodded slightly. "Okay."

The Doctor moved to the console and set the coordinates for Earth. The TARDIS landed and the two made their way across the Powell Estates, both gazing downward as they walked in silence. The Doctor noted with a pang of sadness how empty his hand felt without Rose's fingers laced through his. The bounce in their step along with the natural ease that usually existed between them was now gone. He wondered if they would ever have it back after all this.

The door was locked once they reached Jackie's flat, and Rose couldn't find the spare key, so she knocked and called through the door.

"Mum, it's me," she announced with a raised voice.

A moment later, a burly, middle-aged man came to the door.

"Well, what'd you want?" he asked gruffly.

"Who are you?" Rose asked in surprise.

He gave her a look of annoyance. "Who are you to be askin' questions? Whatever you're sellin' I don't want any, so shove off."

He began to shut the door, but Rose reached out a hand to stop him. "Who are you and where's my mum?" Rose demanded. "What have you done to her? Mum!" she yelled over his shoulder.

The Doctor had noticed through the door that all the furniture had changed. He surreptitiously pulled out his sonic and scanned the flat.

"What are you, crazy or somethin'? Your 'mum' isn't here. No one but me has lived here for the past ten years. Now go on before I call the coppers on you both!"

Rose began to further protest, but the Doctor took her by the arm to calm her. "Sorry to have troubled you," he said. "We'll just be off now."

The door slammed as the Doctor continued to lead Rose away.

"Doctor, we have to go back!" Rose insisted. "He's done something to my mum! We have to find her!"

"Rose, calm down," he directed in a soothing manner. "Your mum isn't in there. I scanned the flat. There's no one else inside. And did you notice the furniture? It's not even the same."

Rose shook her head. "Doctor, _what_ is going on here?" she asked in desperation.

"I wish I knew. I _really_ wish I knew," he replied, growing more bewildered by the minute.

"I don't know what to do. I can't even go to Mickey and ask if he knows about any of this, because he's sealed off in that parallel world with all the…," she gestured upwards as her eyes lifted for the first time, and her mouth fell open in astonishment at what she saw. "…zeppelins in the sky…," she trailed off in disbelief.

The Doctor followed her upward gaze and was as taken aback by the sight as she was. They slowly turned and looked at each other for a moment, then the Doctor spun around and made a dash back for the TARDIS, with Rose following close behind.

Once inside, he went immediately to the monitor at the console.

"Doctor, have we fallen into the parallel world again?" Rose asked, bewildered once more.

"I hadn't even noticed it before with half her systems offline, but this is definitely the parallel universe. But how? We didn't _crash_ here, we _landed_ here. That should be impossible! The TARDIS shouldn't even be able to travel in this universe. And once we left it the last time, it was sealed off. We shouldn't have been able to get back through."

"Well, that at least explains why Mum wasn't here," Rose concluded, slightly relieved. "But maybe I can find Mickey after all. Maybe he knows something about…I dunno…strange things happening around here."

"But we wouldn't even know where to find him," the Doctor reasoned.

"Maybe not, but I think I know someone who would. This world's version of my dad."

"Rose…"

"Look, he might be able to help us here. And I'm sure he could tell us where to find Mickey. After all, he had been working with this world's Ricky," she pointed out. "It stands to reason they would have joined forces to track down the rest of those Cybermen factories. He'd know where Mickey is. I'm sure of it."

Unable to think of anything else they could do in their current situation, the Doctor consented. "Alright. I'll set the coordinates for the Tyler mansion."

A few moments later, they landed just outside the grounds of the mansion. The Doctor and Rose exited the TARDIS and began approaching the front entrance.

"Just remember what he was like the last time, Rose," the Doctor cautioned. "I don't want you to be disappointed again."

"He doesn't want me," she stated flatly. "I know. I get it. Story of my life. I should be used to rejection by now," she added quietly.

Just then, the front doors opened and Jackie came rushing out. "You're back!" she cried happily as she reached for Rose and gave her a hug. "Oh, let me look at you…it's been two weeks!" Then a look of concern crossed her face. "You're not looking so well, sweetheart. Are you sure this one's taking proper care of you?"

"Mum?" Rose asked in disbelief. "Is it really you?"

"What are you on about?" Jackie laughed. "C'mon, let's get you two inside."

Stunned into silence, the Doctor and Rose followed behind the woman who shouldn't exist in this world, while Jackie was happily chattering away.

"Your father has the day off, so he took Tony to the football match. I think he's probably too young to really enjoy it. But still, it gives them a chance for some father/son time. I was gonna have some of the girls over later for tea, but if you two are staying, I'll call and tell them to make it another time," she said, as they stepped into the mansion and followed her into the main living area.

"What's wrong with you two?" she frowned, turning back toward them. "You've hardly said a word since you got here."

"Mum," Rose said slowly, "how did you get here?"

Jackie wrinkled her brow. "What'd you mean?"

"Jackie," the Doctor cut in, "this is a parallel version of your Earth. How did you get here?"

"What is this, some sort of joke? You're both acting like you've got…amnesia, or something," she chuckled nervously.

"How long have you been here?" he questioned again.

"You know that as well as I do," she responded. "I've been here almost three years now. Same as Rose."

"Mum," Rose interjected, "we just saw you last week at the flat when you called me all upset about that Elton bloke who was using you to try to find the Doctor. And that definitely wasn't in _this_ world."

Jackie gaped at her. "Last _week_? Rose, that was three _years_ ago. What's happened to you, sweetheart?" she asked in concern. "Are you alright? Is the baby alright?"

Rose's eyes went wide. "You…you know about the…baby?" she stammered.

"Of course I know about the baby! I wouldn't _not_ know about my own grandchild, now would I?"

"Jackie," the Doctor said slowly, "I think you better tell us everything you know."

-:-

Soon realizing the seriousness of the situation, Jackie proceeded to fill them in on the events missing from their memories. She recounted the details of how she and Rose ended up in this universe after the Battle of Canary Wharf, Rose's work with Torchwood, and also learning of the changes in Rose after surviving what should have been a fatal injury. Then there was the Dimension Cannon, the stars going out, her reunion with the Doctor and subsequent return with him to this universe after the creation of the Eleventh Doctor through the Time Lord Biological Metacrisis. She then told of how they grew a new TARDIS from a seedling of the original ship, and finally of their wedding and, most recently, the pregnancy.

The Doctor and Rose sat through it all, utterly stunned. Actually, stunned didn't even begin to cover it. This was almost too much to take in. And it was certainly _not_ what they had ever expected to learn.

"I know this must be a shock if you think you're just hearing about this for the first time," Jackie said, having finally reached the end of the extraordinary recap. "I think we could all do with a good cuppa, and I'm sure you two need a minute alone. I'll just go make some tea," she offered, and left the room to allow them the opportunity to collect their thoughts.

The Doctor and Rose both sat in awkward silence, neither quite sure what to even say or how to begin. Finally, Rose spoke up.

"Well," she laughed breathlessly, "I guess I was right about the baby. An alien _did_ do this to me."

The Doctor was still speechless. He opened and closed his mouth, but couldn't seem to form words. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I…I honestly don't know what to say. From a…a logical standpoint, I suppose this would explain everything," he conceded. "But it's just so…impossible to believe."

Just then, Jackie reappeared, apparently having decided the tea could wait. "You know what you two need? A good jog to the memory, that's what. You need to be surrounded with something familiar. And I know just the place. I'll take you both to your flat. It had been Rose's place here, and you decided to keep it for when you came back for visits. Maybe something there will spark a memory. It's worth a try." She paused for a moment before continuing, "And I wouldn't normally agree to this, but this is an emergency and we need to get there quick. So you can take us there in that box of yours, Doctor. It's the quickest way."

Not knowing what else to do, the Doctor and Rose agreed, and the three of them headed for the TARDIS as Jackie gave him the address of their destination.

They soon arrived outside the converted warehouse which housed their flat. Jackie led them inside, down the hallway and to the door as she began explaining. "Now, you don't actually need a key for the lock. This is gonna sound daft." She glanced at the Doctor "Though actually, considering _he's_ the one who did it, it'll probably make perfect sense. You see, the Doctor made his own changes to it so all you have to do is snap your fingers and the door opens. It only works for the two of you, though."

They both looked at her, bemused, but the Doctor raised his hand to test her statement and snapped his fingers. Sure enough, the door opened. They slowly stepped inside the flat and began cautiously looking around.

Jackie went about pointing out things that were evidence of the Doctor having spent time here. "Now as you can tell, the Doctor has certainly put his mark on the place. Not necessarily improvements, if you ask me… But anyway, the appliances in the kitchen are sonic, and there's even an upstairs that he added using the same alien strangeness that makes the TARDIS bigger on the inside." Jackie shook her head. "Don't ask me how, but he did."

As the Doctor investigated the flat, it certainly did appear as if he'd had something to do with the various upgrades. And something about this place just felt…familiar. The evidence was mounting that what Jackie had told them was true. But he still couldn't shake the feeling that he had to protect himself from accepting all this. Maybe in time he actually _could_ have come to embrace such a life, but he couldn't find that man within himself in an instant, no matter how much a part of him might have wanted it.

He finally rejoined Rose back in the living room. She was holding a picture she had taken off the mantel. She turned and showed it to him. It was a wedding picture. _Their_ wedding picture.

"It looks like somewhere along the line, you changed your opinion about doing domestic." She was trying to keep her tone light, but was fighting back the lump in her throat.

Just then, Jackie spoke up. "Look, I think you two need some time alone to sort through things. I'm gonna go find your father and see if he can help with all this."

A clap of thunder from an approaching storm rumbled in the distance as Jackie made her way out of the flat.

As Rose stood looking around the living room, she was suddenly hit with a flash of memory of her and the Doctor in this very room…

_'Rose, you once promised me forever, and now I want to make that same promise to you.'_

_Then he instantly dropped to one knee before her while still clasping her hands in his own. Her eyes went wide in shock. 'I am doing this right, aren't I? I mean, on Traxion 5 the male usually stands on his head, but the Earth custom is to get on one knee, right?'_

_'What?' she asked, still reeling from the moment. _

_'Rose, what I'm trying to say is: Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?'_

"Rose? Rose!" She was snapped out of the flashback by the Doctor's concerned voice.

She looked at him with a dazed expression. "I think..." She swallowed and tried again. "I think I was starting to remember something. Something important…about us."

The Doctor's expression was one of guarded uncertainty. He stepped back from her and shoved his hands in his pockets. "So you think all this is really true?" he asked, and didn't sound entirely pleased at the prospect.

Rose bit her bottom lip, then responded. "You don't want this, do you? Any of this. I thought you'd be happy now that we've found out this isn't something bad happening — some outside force controlling all this." She shook her head and continued. "Doctor, this could be the _best_ thing to ever happen to us. This is so much more than I ever dreamed we could have. Why can't you be happy about this?"

The Doctor couldn't hold it back any longer and suddenly let loose everything he had been feeling. "You just don't understand, Rose!" he responded, his voice rising and taking on a desperate tone. "I've had all this before and I lost it! Lost it all. I can't do this again! Never again. You think I can just easily settle into this life? You think it's really that simple?" He began to pace and run his hands through his hair. "It's easy for you," he continued. "You haven't known the kind of loss that I have. _Every single person_ that I have ever cared about is gone! You don't know what that does to you inside. And I _never_ want to experience that again. I–"

"Enough!" Rose cut in. He abruptly went silent. She drew in a shaking breath and continued. "I get it. I do. This is the last thing you want. And I'm the last person you want it with." She took another breath and forced herself to calm down. "So, fine," she concluded in defeat. "You can just go back to the TARDIS and be on your way if that's what you want. I would never try to force you into this. You don't even have to have anything to do with this kind of life." She turned to head for the door, then paused and turned back to him. "You act like you are so alone, but it doesn't have to be that way unless _you_ choose it."

With that, she turned and quickly left the flat as the thunder continued to rumble in the distance. Sarah Jane had told her that some things were worth getting your heart broken for, but right now she wondered just how much her heart could endure.

The Doctor stared at the closed door. He breathed out a heavy, shuddering sigh and sat down limply on the couch, his face buried in his hands.

-:-

The Doctor pondered the current situation for over an hour, and he finally realized how hard he had been making this for Rose. She must be terrified by the whole situation — to suddenly wake up and find herself pregnant. And he hadn't exactly been a pillar of support for her. He had been so wrapped up in his own emotions that he hadn't given proper consideration to hers. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. Because…, he swallowed hard as he allowed himself to inwardly admit this. Because he _loved_ her. And that was what terrified him most in all this.

He had always managed to suppress his feelings by grabbing her hand and running head-long into the next adventure — never stopping to let his feelings catch up to him, because it was safer that way. But now he had been forced to confront those feelings head-on, and it terrified him. It terrified him because he loved her so much and he couldn't bear to lose her. Not now, not ever. But then he _finally_ began to realize something. Maybe the only reason he would lose Rose was because of himself. If he kept pushing her away, he'd end up losing her by his own doing. Just as Rose said, it would be his choice.

He was vaguely aware of the sound of the phone ringing in the flat. He tried to ignore it, but it persisted. It eventually went to the answering machine and he heard it was Jackie. He let out a breath and went to answer it.

"Yes?"

"Doctor, Pete's here now. You and Rose come by and we'll try to help you get things sorted."

"Isn't Rose with you?" he asked. "She left over an hour ago and I just assumed she'd gone back with you."

"You mean you don't know where she is?" Jackie said in concern. "There's a bleedin' storm outside, and the last thing she needs is to get caught out there in her condition!"

"Calm down, Jackie, I'm sure she's fine. She probably just went back to the TARDIS," he assured her, and hoped with all his hearts he was right.

"She had better be!"

"Don't worry, I'll find her," he promised, then rang off and immediately made his way outside.

He quickly ran through the rain and to the TARDIS. He began calling out for Rose once inside. He searched every room, but she was nowhere on board. He went to the phone on the console and dialed her mobile. There was no answer. He tried again, let it ring longer, and this time it went to her voicemail.

"Rose," he spoke into the phone, "it's me. Please just talk to me. Your mum's worried about you and so am I. Let me know where you are and I'll come get you. Please, Rose."

He hung up and paced nervously. Then he stopped in his tracks as a thought occurred to him. He _did_ have another way to contact Rose — through their apparent bond, the very thing he'd been trying to block out. He took a deep, steadying breath as he slowly lowered his barriers and allowed his mind to reach for her own. Instantly, he could feel her. He could feel the turmoil and the anguish she was feeling, made all the worse by knowing he was the cause of that.

He whispered to her mind.

_"Rose, everything is going to be okay. I promise. Please just let me know where you are."_

He waited. No response.

_"Rose, please."_

Then after a moment, her pain-filled mind echoed back to him.

_"Just leave me. You don't want me or the baby, so just leave me alone."_

His hearts soared and shattered at the same moment. At least she responded, but it wasn't the response he was hoping for.

_Rose, I am **never** going to leave you. And I am so sorry I made you feel that way. But please, just let me…"_

Their connection was instantly severed as she threw up her barriers. Apparently she'd learned to erect a few walls of her own.

It had been just enough, though. They were connected long enough for him to sense exactly where she was. The Doctor quickly began setting the coordinates. If anything happened to Rose or the baby he would never be able to live with himself. He had to find her.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N **Final chapter. Thank you so much to everyone who has read, reviewed and favorited this story!

* * *

The rain was coming down in heavy sheets as the Doctor exited the TARDIS and out into the Powell Estates. He held his hand up to his face to shield his eyes from the deluge as he scanned the area for Rose. He spotted her just a ways in front of him, sitting on the edge of the sidewalk with her knees drawn up to her chest and arms wrapped protectively around her. He felt a piercing pain in his chest at the thought that he had done this to her.

"Rose!" he called out as he ran towards her, his trainers splashing on the wet pavement. She didn't respond, and he didn't know if it was because she couldn't hear him in the pouring rain, if she was ignoring him, or if she was in a state of shock.

He reached where she was and knelt down in front of her. "Rose?" he asked in concern as he gently placed a hand on her shoulder.

Slowly, she lifted her gaze to him. Her eyes were glassy and un-focused. He quickly scanned her with the sonic screwdriver then reached his hand out and placed it on the side of her face.

"Rose, you're freezing. C'mon, we need to get you out of this rain and into the TARDIS." She didn't protest as he lifted her in his arms and carried her limp form back to the ship, while whispering his apologies to her.

Once inside, he went immediately through the bedroom and into the bathroom where he carefully placed her in the tub and turned on a gentle cascade of warm water, gradually increasing the temperature so her body could adjust.

With her condition improving, he went back into the bedroom and quickly changed out of his wet clothes, then grabbed a warm, fluffy robe hanging in the wardrobe and brought it back to the bathroom. He sat it beside the tub as he knelt to check on Rose. Her temperature had increased but her eyes remained distant. He stood up and turned off the water, then helped her stand. He grabbed a towel and gently dried her hair.

"You need to get out of these wet things, Rose," he said softly. "I've brought this for you to change into," he said, indicating to the robe. He sat the towel aside and took a step back. "So then, I'll just…leave you to it. I'll be right outside if you need anything." He turned to leave the bathroom, but as he was pulling the door shut he heard Rose's soft voice speaking for the first time since he'd found her.

"Could…could you help me?" she said, a slight tremor in her voice. Her fingers were at the buttons of her top, but her hands were shaking too badly to undo them.

The Doctor paused for just a moment, then crossed the room to her once more. He hesitantly reached for the buttons on her shirt as her eyes met his. "It's okay," she consented.

He saw such a look of trust in her eyes in that instant. Such a look of _love_. It took all of his control at that moment to keep from taking her in his arms and doing what he'd only ever dreamt of but never dared act upon. But they were both so mixed up right now. Rose needed him right now, but not in that way. Not yet. She was so vulnerable in this moment and he wasn't about to take advantage of that.

He reached out his hand and cupped the side of her face, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. Then he began helping her get undressed, never taking his eyes off her face. In those few moments, he could feel the fiercely-guarded wall he'd built around his hearts, the one that began weakening the day he met Rose, now quickly crumbling to the ground.

Once out of the wet clothes, he wrapped her in the robe, then led her out to the bedroom and eased her into bed.

Rose laid back and placed a hand over her stomach. "Is…is the baby okay?" she asked quietly.

The Doctor placed his hand over hers. "The baby is fine," he assured her.

Rose turned her head away from him as she spoke. "But she's not, is she?" Rose continued sadly. "Because her father doesn't even want her." Her voice broke on the last words.

The Doctor let out a heavy breath. How could he have made her feel this way? He needed to explain to her that it wasn't that he _didn't_ want this, it was that he _did_. He wanted it so much — too much, and that was what frightened him. He started to speak but Rose cut him off.

"But that's okay. She and I will be okay," Rose said, summoning her resolve. "My mum raised me on her own, and if she could do it, then so can I."

The Doctor shook his head sadly. "No, Rose. You don't understand."

"I _do_ understand," she responded, her voice rising slightly. "You've made it perfectly clear. I don't know how you and I were able to get to this point in three years, but obviously we've lost whatever it was we had. And I don't know if we can ever get it back." She had to fight back tears at this point as she continued. "But we can't keep on like this. We have to…"

She was cut off as the Doctor placed his fingers on her lips.

"Shhh," he soothed. "Oh, Rose. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He removed his fingers but his eyes remained trained on her lips. He leaned forward ever so slowly. Rose's heartbeat began to quicken as his lips came within inches of her own.

Just at that moment, she suddenly gasped in distress as she sat up and clutched her head with both hands.

The Doctor placed a hand on her back. "Rose? What's wrong?" he asked in alarm.

Rose wasn't able to hear him, however. She was suddenly overcome as stolen memories came rushing back to her like a tidal wave, all playing out in rapid succession before her.

_'They keep on trying to split us up, but they never ever will.'_

_'I made my choice a long time ago, and I'm never gonna leave you.'_

_'Am I ever gonna see you again?'_

_'Doctor, it's me. I came back.'_

_'Basically, we've been building this travel machine. This Dimension Cannon. So I could…well, so I could…so I could come back.'_

Suddenly, she remembered everything: Their separation, reunion, wedding, and the past amazing year they had spent together as husband and wife. And she remembered the event of two days prior that had caused them to temporarily lose all of that.

She was overwhelmed with happiness at having finally regained what was missing, and she began laughing uncontrollably.

"You…," she pointed at him and could barely get her words out between laughter, "you and your stupid bananas!"

The Doctor furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Rose?" he asked in concern.

"I remember!" she declared ecstatically. "I remember everything!" She threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. And if she had her way, she'd never let go.

-:-

Rose had proceeded to tell him everything, every detail, up to the incident that cost them their memories.

The Doctor sat beside her on the bed. Rose was still beaming. He finally turned to her, a look of sorrow in his eyes.

"But I still can't remember. What if I never will?" he asked in a broken voice.

Rose reached up and touched his cheek. "Then I'll remember for both of us. And I suppose I'll just have to make you fall in love with me all over again," she added, trying to keep her tone light but not able to hide the sadness in her tone.

He wanted to tell her that it wasn't possible for him to fall in love with her again, because he already _was_ in love with her. And if he was finally honest with himself, he had been for a very long time. But he just gave her a half smile and gazed back down at the floor.

"Hey," she said gently, drawing his gaze back to her. "We'll be okay, you and me. And you know what else I remember? I remember what you said to me the day we exchanged vows. You said you weren't naïve enough to think that the universe wasn't going to throw challenges our way. But that we could make it through anything together, because you believed in _us_. Well, I believe in us, too. And we'll get through this," she assured him as she took his hand. "And maybe I could give those memories back to you. We could try. I have them all inside. Not only mine but yours as well. We've shared everything together through our bond, and I think I could show you when you're ready. But I know the fear that you're feeling right now. I understand it perfectly because I've _felt_ it. You shared that with me, and I know the fear you had of losing me before you were finally able to open yourself up and dare to love again. I waited for you then, and I'll wait for you now — as long as it takes."

The Doctor released a deep breath. "Rose, I _want_ to remember. I want to remember my life with you. All of it. I just don't know if…I'm ready for all of that yet," he told her honestly. He was having a battle inside between wanting to remember it all right that very moment, but still unable to escape that last bit of fear.

"It's okay," she assured him. "We have time. And I'm not going anywhere, yeah?"

He nodded and gave her a gentle smile as he reached up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. "You should get some rest, Rose. You've been through so much."

"Stay with me?" she asked. "I just…I just don't want to be alone. I need you with me."

He swallowed hard but nodded slightly. Once she'd gotten under the covers, he removed his jacket, then eased himself down beside her. She scooted closer to him and he put his arms around her. As Rose snuggled into his chest, he finally started to let himself believe that maybe, _just maybe_ things were going to be alright.

-:-

The Doctor woke a few hours later, unaware that he had drifted off. The anxiety of the recent events had left him more mentally and physically drained than he had realized. He woke to find the room empty. Concerned, he made his way out of the bedroom and went to look for Rose.

He found her in the console room. The TARDIS had been put in flight and was drifting above the Earth. Rose stood at the open door gazing down at the planet below. She had changed into a long, silky nightgown in gleaming white. He just stood there watching her for a moment. She was breathtaking.

As he gazed at her, he was overcome with intense longing and desire, and he realized that trying to fight those feelings was a losing battle. He _finally_ realized that this was one battle he wouldn't mind losing. He didn't want to fight this any longer, and at this moment he was finding it hard to come up with a reason why he ever had. She belonged with him. They were meant to be, he knew that now. It didn't feel wrong, it felt _right_.

He came up to her slowly and took her hand in his as she turned towards him and smiled.

"Hello," he said.

"Hello," she echoed, then turned her gaze back out the door and sighed dreamily. "I love the view from up here."

"How did you…?" he gestured to the console.

She smiled again. "You've been teaching me. My piloting skills aren't perfect yet. But then again, neither are yours," she teased lightly. He smiled.

"I woke up," she continued, "and I remembered I needed to call Mum and Dad and let them know everything was okay now." She smiled a bit sadly but with a spark of hope in her eyes as she amended, "Well, getting there, anyway. And I couldn't get back to sleep, so I came out here. The baby likes it here," she added, while idly stroking her stomach.

The Doctor reached out and placed his hand over hers on her stomach, then they both lifted their eyes and met each other's gaze. He reached up and trailed the backs of his fingers down her cheek. His eyes flicked from hers down to her lips as he slowly leaned forward. Rose remained still, letting him take the lead.

Slowly, gently, he brushed his lips over hers. It was almost like a spark of electricity shot through him at the contact. He pulled back slightly, as if considering whether to stop there or take things further. Rose reached up and ran a hand through his hair, and that was all the encouragement he needed. He couldn't have stopped himself if he wanted to. He was drawn to her beyond his control.

He leaned forward to capture her lips once more, and this time it was with more assurance. Rose parted her lips in invitation and he deepened the kiss — tongues stroking and caressing as they rediscovered each other and the depth of their shared passion.

They were both a little breathless as they broke the kiss. The Doctor smiled slowly and cupped her face with his palm.

"So that's what I've been missing," he said softly.

"That and…'other' things," Rose replied suggestively.

He reached down and took both her hands in his. "Rose, I'm ready. I need to remember. I _want_ to remember."

She searched his face. "Are you sure?"

"Completely," he replied without hesitation.

Rose took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she felt the Doctor lowering all his barriers and inviting her in. A sigh escaped her lips as she joined her mind with his. It felt like coming home.

She shared everything with him, just as he had once shared his deepest thoughts and memories with her on their wedding night when they bonded. Every event of the past three years came flooding back to him.

There was no way for him to describe the feeling, other than completion. He once again felt whole.

The Doctor wrapped her in his arms and held her close. "Oh, Rose," he murmured. "Rose, Rose, Rose." He whispered her name like a mantra.

They both held tightly to each other, never wanting to let go. He pulled back slightly but didn't relinquish his hold on her as he gazed into her eyes.

"Your love has been the most incredible thing I have _ever_ had in my entire existence. And I don't know why I fought it for so long back then, or how I could have gone back to feeling that way again. How could I ever forget?"

Rose smiled gently and brushed her lips softly against his. "Our love was never forgotten. Just momentarily hidden deep inside where it was kept safe. But it has always been there — right from the very beginning. And no one can _ever_ take that from us."

Her words were cut off as his mouth descended on hers once more. He pulled back, still holding her face in his hands. Then he lowered one hand to reach in his pocket and brought out the rings. He slipped Rose's on her finger, then lifted her hand to his lips as he brushed a kiss across the ring. Then he placed his ring in her hand and she did the same for him.

Tears began to form in Rose's eyes and then spilled over down her cheeks. The Doctor raised his hand and gently brushed them away with his thumb, then pressed his lips to her forehead.

"Don't cry, love," he murmured against her skin. "After our goodbye at Bad Wolf Bay, I swore to myself I would never again make you cry." Then he dropped his gaze from her and spoke quietly. "But I've broken that promise, haven't I?"

Rose gave him a watery smile and touched his cheek. "But this time the tears are for a much different reason. And because I love you."

The Doctor exhaled deeply. "And I love you. Oh, Rose, I put you through so much these past few days because I used to be such a coward about letting myself admit my feelings for you. How could I have ever thought that it was better that way? Better if I held back with you? But what I told you just before we lost our memories was true: I have _always_ loved you, Rose; even before I had the courage to say it. I love you more than I could ever put into words."

She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. "I know," she replied. "And you're forgiven."

He smiled and dropped to his knees in front of her. He placed a gentle kiss to her flat stomach that would soon swell with the evidence of the life inside. The evidence of their love. He lifted his hand and tenderly caressed her belly.

"I owe you an apology, too, little one," he said softly. "You tried to say hello and I shut you out. There's one thing you're going to have to learn about me. I can be a bit rude at times. Rude and not ginger, that's me."

Rose laughed softly and ran her fingers through his hair. He looked up and smiled at her, his eyes shining.

"But thankfully for me, your mum loves me anyway."

He stood and kissed Rose once more. Then he pulled back and gave her a sultry look, his eyes twinkling. "As your doctor, it's my professional opinion that you need to come back to bed."

Rose tilted her head to the side and appeared to consider this for a minute, then replied. "But I just don't seem to be tired at the moment," she sighed, then wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned closer. "But there are other things we could be doing."

He arched a brow and smiled seductively. "And just what did you have in mind?"

"Well," she said slowly, as she ran her hands down his chest, "I could tell you, but it would be _much_ more fun to show you." She then loosened his tie and unbuttoned his collar as she brought her face closer to his, her breath ghosting across his lips as she spoke. "And considering it's been two days, I think you need to make up for lost time, Time Lord."

A low growl rumbled deep in his chest as she grazed her lips across his exposed neck. "Your wish is my command," he replied, his voice low and eyes dark with desire as he reached down and swept her up in his arms. He then proceeded to carry her back to their room where they wasted no time in making up for what had been lost, while celebrating what was now found.

-:-

Six months later, Destiny Rose Tyler was welcomed into the world — a child born of a great love. A love that spanned the galaxies and the very universe itself. A love that would stand the test of Time and become legendary. A love that would never be forgotten.


End file.
